God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize