If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize