I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize