Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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