i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize