I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize