well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
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while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
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I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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