When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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