I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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