he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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