Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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