so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize