Cold hands, warm shart.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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