Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
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She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
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The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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