Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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