He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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