It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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