Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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