people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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