After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize