haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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