someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize