We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
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I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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