the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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