So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize