but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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