I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize