i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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