Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize