your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
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I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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