Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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