Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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