I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
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look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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