1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize