He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize