thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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