I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
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I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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