I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize