It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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