first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
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organizing the empties. That sober.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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