I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize