oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize