we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize