Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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