we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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