I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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