It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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