She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize