He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
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I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
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I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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