when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize